A.W.A.K.E

Now is 4.20 a.m early in the morning.
And I am awake already.
Imma emo queen.
I don't know why must it NOW?
listening to songs that makes me feel even more worst.
well currently playing搞笑by小猪
It's never fail to makes me tear drops each and every time when I listening to it.
This early,my family are still in their dreams.
When I look at my brother who sleeps beside me I feels like crying.
I really have no ideas where all these*good mood comes from.
It can be sudden,it can be hold for a long periods.
urgh,what happened to me.
sometimes I loves emo,sometimes I hate it.
Makes me feels sick!
terrified!
everyone must have their own story,at least one?
I know well about mine and try to look at it in different angles.
I found useless because no matter how hard I manage to think nothing is going to change.
If I never chosen the way to sing,will this incident happened?
If yes,then I would blame myself.
If I gives up on my stubborn,maybe the ending would be different.
What we chose,we think doesn't mean to be the best for us.
Then who should?
Who make choices for us?
Parents?Friends?
flick coins and let the God make decisions for us?
Somehow,I still believe on it,I sill do it.


是我亲手毁了吗？
我爱过几个人，也被爱过几遍，
却还是没能将幸福留下
你们知道吗？
我很想这些人。


即使我知道结局一定，不会再变
我还是会幻想，幻想那些不可能的画面。
因为我始终相信人间有情
不知道这个人醒来了吗？后悔过自己曾说过那些伤害无数人的话吗？
我不想一个人哭，不想一个人收起自己的那些心酸
天亮了，我就要过正常人一般的生活
微笑的生活
就算是一个人背上这些痛，这些懊恼
我都必须笑着对世界的人说；“我很好·”


有人一定会觉得是我自己拿来烦的
为什么要选择这样折磨自己
让我来告诉你，要不是事情一连二不断发生了
今天就不会有这样的一个我
一个那么多愁善感，那么爱哭的人
当事人是我，只会批评的人永远都不会了解这种无奈，无助。
怪自己，我无能为力，真的，有时候，我很累。

哭，是我唯一能给自己最好的安慰

有时侯，我也需要这样的拥抱

I  will be fine.

给某某人：

当我不开心，你总会说一大堆傻话让我微笑
谢谢你第一次的hey 让我认识了你