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Monday, April 18, 2011

feeling.

sitting next to them with the lights on.
thinking of my problems.
i wanted to solve my own way.
i always whisper to god.
hugging my pillow hardly
drop my tears on my pillow.
struggling inside deeply.
who knows?
you?she or he?
i always try  my best to share.
yeah,is always.
but the result shows that it's better for me to keep it.
i wonder how's others did it .
sometimes i feel so stupid to myself.


i just want to have a simple life.
i don't understand what's life for?
of course i want a happy life,
but how?
you want me to think positively.
i tried.
and what comes after the way?
pains that i couldn't bring it away.
i am really afraid that one day i will immune to it.
maybe some of you don't believes that i whisper to god before.
i am telling the truth,and how pathetic i am.
and i know there must be its own reason why god created me this way.
this is the reason why am i still here today.
peoples who don't know me and think that i am arrogant is because they don't know the real me yet.
i always wanted to give the real me to all of you.
nobody knows,how struggling i am.
no one likes to pretend.
those who pretend doesn't meant they are lier.
don't judge a book by it's cover  ...
i  always want him to understand me more,
but it's always not.
i don't give a blame on him.
i understand him,
sometimes i talk cruel infront of him.
i felt sorry.
girls,please tell me that you don't need your boyfriend to understand and comfort you ,
and i will do the same.
words can kill someone if he or she is important to you.
pretty true.
those words never fade away from my mind.
i listen and i accept it.
i can't do any better.
it really kill me but no one realize..
i can't force others to think at my side.
but to him,
i hope he could understand how depress i am.


sometimes, a smile could be the most painful thing in life







Wednesday, April 13, 2011

recent happening's in life,

it's all about

notes

exercises


test.


no doubt,
this is STPM student's life.
and i realize not much time left.
so much to carry on~
urgh.
i really need to brush up myself even though it's super hard!
chemistry teacher teaching way is like rocket- one day one chapter,
same goes to biology,within a week,you have to finish up all the essays.
can you imagine that with mountains of work and we have to prepare for test so on and so on.....
my chemistry and mathematics result was like terrible type.
mathematics exercises is a must for everyday.
it's really really tough year for us.


i don't want to compare with those who have tuitions.

i don't want to give thousands of reason to myself for being a stupid slow turtle.
i don't want to regret later.

maybe what they said is right,
don't study hard but study smart.
but,
i am not smart type.
the only way for me is to study hard.
*envy those who don't have to study so hard*



i must and
i know i can.


p/s
if you think you can,you can!

Saturday, April 9, 2011

SATURDAY

recalls the memories lies between you and me.
those sweet warm moments we share together.


i smile this time,
i value myself for you.