A.W.A.K.E

Now is 4.20 a.m early in the morning.
And I am awake already.
Imma emo queen.
I don't know why must it NOW?
listening to songs that makes me feel even more worst.
well currently playing搞笑by小猪
It's never fail to makes me tear drops each and every time when I listening to it.
This early,my family are still in their dreams.
When I look at my brother who sleeps beside me I feels like crying.
I really have no ideas where all these*good mood comes from.
It can be sudden,it can be hold for a long periods.
urgh,what happened to me.
sometimes I loves emo,sometimes I hate it.
Makes me feels sick!
terrified!
everyone must have their own story,at least one?
I know well about mine and try to look at it in different angles.
I found useless because no matter how hard I manage to think nothing is going to change.
If I never chosen the way to sing,will this incident happened?
If yes,then I would blame myself.
If I gives up on my stubborn,maybe the ending would be different.
What we chose,we think doesn't mean to be the best for us.
Then who should?
Who make choices for us?
Parents?Friends?
flick coins and let the God make decisions for us?
Somehow,I still believe on it,I sill do it.


是我亲手毁了吗？
我爱过几个人，也被爱过几遍，
却还是没能将幸福留下
你们知道吗？
我很想这些人。


即使我知道结局一定，不会再变
我还是会幻想，幻想那些不可能的画面。
因为我始终相信人间有情
不知道这个人醒来了吗？后悔过自己曾说过那些伤害无数人的话吗？
我不想一个人哭，不想一个人收起自己的那些心酸
天亮了，我就要过正常人一般的生活
微笑的生活
就算是一个人背上这些痛，这些懊恼
我都必须笑着对世界的人说；“我很好·”


有人一定会觉得是我自己拿来烦的
为什么要选择这样折磨自己
让我来告诉你，要不是事情一连二不断发生了
今天就不会有这样的一个我
一个那么多愁善感，那么爱哭的人
当事人是我，只会批评的人永远都不会了解这种无奈，无助。
怪自己，我无能为力，真的，有时候，我很累。

哭，是我唯一能给自己最好的安慰

有时侯，我也需要这样的拥抱

I  will be fine.

给某某人：

当我不开心，你总会说一大堆傻话让我微笑
谢谢你第一次的hey 让我认识了你

Y.E.A.H

I AM LOOKING FORWARD ON THIS COMING TUESDAY=)


can't wait for something which I have waited for a year.
Finally.

lovely babe.<3


I miss my old phone.
It's not branded phone like I-phone or blackberry.
but NOKIA 6300.
I miss to use it a lot.</3
I asked my dad about my phone today.
He said it will be fine after repair.
BUT my phone is with my dad for almost four months.
And when I looked at my phone was like.....I can't recognize whether that is my nokia 6300 or not.
I still love this phone compare to nokia E71  if you want me to make a choice.
This phone is a gift from my hero.
The very first time he bought me this phone as he very satisfied with my results when I was form 4.
Last time,he promised me to buy me a phone if I got the first place in my class.
I never disappoint him.
I waited for half year and in every examinations I remain my ranking as first in class.
Finally he bought me this phone.
Don't know why,I treasure everything that my dad bought me.
Nothing much he bought for us but we still love him like mad.
I never ask for branded things.
I don't ask for more or take things for granted.
I am happy because I born to stay with him and live as one family.




爸爸，我爱你
=）




他问我“为什么你这么弱的”
我说是天生的
我想说你不用担心我，不要心疼
我，哭过就好了
因为唯有这样我会让自己好过一些

忘不了

每当我想起了那一幕
我的心情总是显得沉重
我不知道是因为自己的太在乎，看得太重
还是自己执着，不肯放下
他说这世界上唯有最可靠，最可信的就只有自己
亲人，朋友甚至情人都不可以完完全全的信任
我依赖性很强，我觉得自己办不到
我一直都在寻找一些我不懂的答案
世界那么大，人却显得更渺小
很多时候都不由我们掌控
昨天上了一堂课
他们说，不管发生了什么事，你都要顶住
别人怎么说你，怎么看低你
你都要顶住
每个人的梦想绝对不会只是个梦
只要你在对的事情上付出了一定了努力，你就会成功

定心·，定位，定江山


我一直对某些人对我说过的话耿耿于怀
我承认自己也有不对的地方
但毕竟.........
你怎能说出这些不负责任的话
这一辈子我都不会忘了对我说过的话
如果你们知道我背后的故事
你们或许会可怜我，同情我
我觉得自己很差，妹妹都会比我坚强很多
虽然自己的故事没有别人的凄凉
但只要是这一点点，就已经足够伤害我的心
我会痛不是因为谁伤害了我
而是因为一直在我背后默默的那个人


偶尔还是会注意你的消息
知道了却无动于衷
除了痛还是痛


我败给了你给的伤害

当别人问起我：“痛吗” 的时候
我会笑笑的说：“不痛的啦 ”
其实我不想让他们知道我的心比一切来得更痛
有些伤只要你亲亲一触碰，它就会流血不止

所有的"我開玩笑的”都一定帶著一點點認真
所有的“我不懂”其實還是有一點懂
每一次“我不在乎”背後都有一點點在乎
每一次“我沒事”背後都還是有那麼一點傷痛.

Is me 是我

当年龄随着增长
理想,梦想也变得不一样.. 
会不会是人长大了
渐渐的变得现实了
明白这世界其实真的有很多做不到的事
才会开始放弃心里的那些不实际的念头
其实,世界上有很多东西是改变不了的
不是每件事都能如愿以偿
所以，我们应该选择改變自己
是这样吗.

虽然说我们都有自己的坚持

希望自己的生活会更好

但不是每件事都是能如愿以尝..

每天努力的扮演着不同的角色

为了学会伪装，不让别人看穿自己

更为了要身边的人都开心，却忽略了内心的那一个自己

有时真的会累..

我们似乎总在错过

错过简单快乐的生活

最后当你失去时，你才无意间发现，原来那其实正是你想要的

即使是这样又如何，有些事情一旦失去了，就再也无法挽回

好比个例子，失去了的人，是不可能再回到你身边

这种感受我非常的明白

因为亲身体会过，才懂得那种无法形容的痛

亲人，情人，朋友都一样

一个误会能毁灭所有发生过的一切

只要一个无情，能把你打入十八层地狱

这种感受，又有多少个人真正的体会过

我又想起了某某人说过的话

过去的就让它过去吧

开心与不开心的日子，为何苦了自己做出了一个委屈自己的选择

我并不是没有尝试过把过去都抹去

我们是人，有感情，也有记忆

不是说让它过去就能忘记

这一辈子有很多事情我想我不可能忘记

我可以乖乖的让它们都过去
但绝不可以忘记，不可以不在乎
因为经历这些风风雨雨的人是我
所以会铭记于心
我不算是个记仇的人，更不可能报复他人
我会把所有的一切都当作磨练
希望自己真的可以很坚强
每当我在伪装的时候
我的心就会特别的难受，会隐隐作痛
在家受委屈，我总是装作一副神气的样子
有可能是因为我在家排行最大
但从没有人知道过，我的一颗心是多么的痛
转个身，我就会泪流满面
我会躲到房里，甚至厕所里
哭得很惨，但却不能哭出声，那种感觉你们想像到了吗？
他们可能从来都不知道
我并没有怪他们
因为有时我会心疼他们
宁愿选择受委屈，也不愿说出半点我很痛

被人疼应该都是每个女生渴望的吧
只要有人爱，什么都无所谓了
我想我是这一类的人
只要有人疼爱我，受再多的委屈我都愿意
在学校的我，总是敢做敢为
认识我的人对我的印象不是凶就是太认真
这几年来风雨不改，我都是这样
因为有时候的我真的不知道是我自己融入不了他们的世界
还是自己有所保留
但我对朋友们绝对真心
只要我能帮到的，我一定会帮


相反的在家人面前我会是一个嬉皮笑脸的人
因为我不想让他们看到我的烦恼
尤其是我家的王
我算是个从不让他操心的人
或许是我掩饰的还不错吧
读书的事情他从不会过问我半点反而大妹和弟弟的他都会很担心
只不过有时候的他会叫我们把书读好
看到我忙成一团糟连饭都不吃躲在他房里 书海一片的时候
他会提醒我不要走火入魔
表面上是个凶老虎，但实际上我知道他爱我们，他疼我们
他要我们出人头地
说到这里，眼泪又不听话了=(
答应过他，我会带他到他想去的地方
爸，相信我，我一定会
世界上怎么让我遇见了这样的一个人
这么固执，这么执着，还给了我们一时的欢笑
这辈子最敬佩的人非他莫属
我爱他
说到他，我会心酸
因为他在我心中永远都无人能替

换个焦点.......=）


在情人面前
我不需要任何的伪装
我就是我
我知道爱我的那个人一定会包容我，体谅我
我会把所有的一切都告诉他
我发现当我知道自己不再是一个人的时候
就算我有多不开心，我还是会尽力的让自己开心起来
因为我总不会想自己另一半担心因为我的事而烦恼吧
就算被他发现了，至少有个人和你一起分担，给你意见，开导你
我觉得有可能因为这样，不开心的事很快就能放到一边了
我会很依赖我身边的那个人，但绝不会是家人
虽然我曾失败过几次，
也因为那刻骨铭心的几次我曾想过放弃
我谢谢那些把我拯救起来的朋友们
要不是他们，现在，或许我看起来一点笑容也没有吧
从中学了不少，我会不断增值我自己
把最好的都留给会珍惜，懂我的人=）



一个人的快乐，不是因为他拥有的多，而是因为他计较的少。

虽然我的世界有点暗淡，但我始终相信终有一天它会是充满色彩的。

As we grow up,

we learn that even the one person

that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will.

You'll have your heart broken and you'll break others' hearts.

You'll fight with your best friend

or maybe even fall in love with them,

and you'll cry because time is flying by.

So take too many pictures, laugh too much,

forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt.

Life comes with no guarantees,

no time outs, no second chances.

you just have to live life to the fullest,

tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off,

speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone's hand,

comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up,

stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts.

Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all,

live in the moment.

A.F.R.A.I.D 害怕

I am afraid to lost for what I am having now.Sometimes I rather not to make myself fall too deep.
It's hard to pull up yourself once you've fallen deep.
I feels miserable sometimes because I don't know if I was wrong.


他说：人没有十全十美
虽然我从很多人口中听出了这几个字，我都很认同
但惟有他，唯一一个说出了，让我想了很久的人
谢谢他=）
让我了解到这几个字里背后的意思


我害怕会失去现在拥有的现在
每段时刻，我都害怕
我不敢靠近更不敢让自己放肆的去投入
我怕我会失去我仅有的一切
或许我真的害怕了那些所谓不属于我的曾经
被伤过的心过后难免会有所保留
我只能希望这一切都不会是假的
因为现在的我，是真的

It seems I am the only one who make things complicated.
Don't judge if you weren't me.
Because there is many more stories hidden behind me that you may not see with your bare eyes.
每个人的背后或许有着不同的故事
但我可以肯定地告诉你

我的故事并没有比别人凄惨很多，但都是真实的。

我和你们并没有什么不同，但我的心更容易破碎。

原谅我就是一个这么感性的人

sometimes I fake my stupidity just to see how far you'll go with your lies.

心情篇

闭起眼睛，不断重复听这首歌让我想起了一些人，一些事
你们还好吗？
我想你们却无法联络你们，看不到你们，摸不着你们
你们听到我了吗？
默默的泪了
我很怀念过去的全部，真的
岁月不留人，现在的我已经长大了
责任也渐渐变得沉重
关于你们的每一幕我都不曾忘记
你们不是我的过客，而是我生命力的推动力
一切一切我所知道的，我都会铭记于心
我想用力地抱着你们
却再也没有机会
心灵深处住着你们，想着你们
提起你们，我的心会酸，会痛
眼泪更会情不自禁的流着

当初离开时为啥

你若问阮阮心甘就痛

给某某的几个字

希望这一切会是真的。

有时候

小的时候，我总是可以过着无忧无虑的生活
要风得风，要雨得雨
不需要太在意别人的眼光，想做什么就做什么。
渐渐地长大了，慢慢的开始懂事了
才发现原来世界真的没有自己想象中的那么美好。
以前一直都以为只要你别人好，别人也会同样的对你好。
但其实并不是每个人都会这样，
有些人会为了某些利益而接近你，身边的朋友甚至会出卖你。
有时候的我，当然希望自己付出真心后，能换取同样的对待
但看来是我天真了
有时候，我真的很心痛。
我都会在每一次都付出真心，但不是在每个时候都可以得到同样的对待。
有时候的我在想，是我自己搞不清状况，还是自己哪里又做错了。
×我所说的不是感情问题=）


这个世界有着不同面孔的人，爸爸每次都告诉我，做人耳朵不要将轻，很容易被人骗。
有时候我很想告诉他，我难受了，却说不出口。
说不出口是因为我不想让他担心我，
因为我们，他付出了一百，尽本分。
他的累，他的泪，不是一般人看得见
其实我比谁都还要清楚他，我把一切都放在心里，就像他。
我可以大声地说，他是我这辈子最崇拜的人。
每一次看见他受伤的回家，我都会很心痛
甚至躲起来哭，不要笑我是个感性的人
心痛他大好可以不要我们，心痛他大好可以丢下我们不管
但他都没有，虽然有时候他会埋怨我们这个做不好，那个也不好
我们心里比任何人都清楚，他为了我们，为了这个家。
我不敢告诉他我有多爱他，因为他一定会觉得我哪里吃错药
我不敢抱他，因为我不懂他会有什么反应。
我每次都告诉弟弟妹妹，长大了，一定要一起买漂亮的屋子给他，
让他过好的生活
这样的我会不会很傻？

他不赌博，也不喝酒
我希望他能够找到另一半，为自己以后的生活打算。
我不会拒绝，不会生气
但他告诉我们，他的投资就在我们身上
他也不想再有另一半。
我想说，他真的很伟大。


不懂得珍惜的人，就别想拥有。
这句话是写给自己，也写给那些不懂得珍惜的朋友
必须承认我是感触很多的人，
又或许因为这样每一天的我看起来都不快乐。

 

单纯的人其实并不笨，
只是宁可对自己残忍。

latest update from me.

feeling much better after these few days.
I don't know what will come next but definitely I am going to stay strong with him.
Without him,I wouldn't make myself this strong.
Tell the world I am coming home.
I will be no where without him.
Seriously,I don't think I heal from my wounds yet.
NEED TIME THOU.
At least I have learn some lessons by myself.
I don't need to tell everyone about my pains.
I don't need to report everything about myself to others.
I try to ignore everything sometimes and it's work.
I can do everything that I like.
Isn't good for me?
nah,Of course I am not changing to the bad one.
I am still the one who you knew me as before.
Is just that I need to change for better.
I need to keep back the bad things about me.
I should have admit that sometimes when I really can't control myself,I will gone mad.
I can be very emo more than you could expected.
I even....


argh..
skip this...=)


i love this status recently:
每当我一个人开车行驶到120以上时.....我真的真的好想解​下了驾驶座上的安全带， 慢慢的闭上双眼，双手慢慢的离开驾驶盘，猛踩油门加速....然​后...


REALLY ATTRACTS ME ALOT
I found this on facebook by my friend.
I can only imagine,I won't do this Okay?
How stupid I am I am not going to do this.
Don't worry much .


My latest status on facebook:
一开始的朋友，
二来的情侣，
再来最熟悉的陌生人,
难道这真的就是所谓的有缘无分?


He looks different nowadays.
I  don't know why.
Maybe I think too much.
我想说依然是朋友
只不过现在的你看起来真的不是很好
如果有人看到这里，麻烦你转告他
我们依然是朋友=）


Snapped few photos by today.

one of my favourite photo.

I know this is very noob!

was trying to be emo although I don't look this way when I am emo.

okay,ignore my fake smile.

P/s: my hair is still long.Not this short as in the Photos.

internal bleeding

I can forget everyone.
But not you.
This is why I am here and posting this.
I know you are not going to see this.
At this moment,I can't accept for what is going on.
You have got your own life now, 
then tell me why are you still sending those messages that hurt everyone of us.
He don't understand,neither I.
I promised to myself that I won't drop my tears for you.
Again,i did it today.
You have your position in me.
But unfortunately,you don't treasure it.
You think what you have done was right.
Let me tell you,you are actually making a fool in front of everyone.
I never thought it can be real.
But now,it seems to be so true.


Too many incident happened in one day.
Sigh
I need my time.
Seriously,I am sinking right now.


I wish if he is still here.
At least,i have him.
But no,I have to stand alone.
Someone said I should be proud of myself because I am still physically looks good.

how many of you could really understand how hard my situation is.
I don't  think I can take more than this anymore.
sucks.


There is someone who gain more than me.
He is not here with me right now.
I don't know where he went.
finding friends chit chat-ing trying hard to covering his internal bleeding?
Or hiding somewhere being alone for a moment.
He forever my hero.
I am worry about him as well.
I can lost anyone but not him.
He told me before,
He is alone always in work shop,nobody could see his tears or talk to him.
I feels bad,because sometimes I really cannot even do something to comfort him.


SIGH

I don't know what am I talking about now.
Ignore my  post if you find it hardly to understand.

Stay strong.

You have to stay strong.
And I will do the same.


I can understand your feeling better than others.
Trust me,I do know.
Sigh!
I am really hurt when I got the news.
Although we are not that close as before,
but i treasure our friendship that we have build up together.
Please stay strong.
Your incident has recall me alot of things.

Appreciate the one who are now with you.
Don't regret later,because by the time you regret
Time will never can be return back to you.

I have to admit that I am a very sensitive person.
I can cry for a small matter by any story,from anyone.
This is me, my character.
I don't expect everyone to know well about me.
What I have to do is just to be myself,change myself for the better future.


Life is full with obstacles.
I know I have to stay strong.






A'ah,stay strong..
I know you will have that strength to face through,aren't you?
May God bless you and your family.



p/s
I cry not because i feel pity to her,
it is because I understand her feelings.
I feel sad about  her lost.