sorry that i loved you

i cannot denied that i haven't heal from pains.
i am missing those days.
i am missing the same person.
i am missing everything about the past one year.
i wish i could make it right.
it's so true that a person can easily be forgiven but not forget.
seems so hard to put down everything.
one month and four days already.
i still can't let go.


i told waijern something today and want to get help from her.
turn up she replied that she 's not going to help me because she found out that i am very stupid.
even pik kuan said don't help me.
friends,i need your supports.
even if you both don't want to me a hand,i will still find my own way.
=( i don't give a blame ....i understand you guys care and wanted to help me out.
for what am i doing,i hope i won't regret later.
let me do something that i think it's worth for now.
maybe few years later,when i refresh everything and look back myself through mirrow,
i might laugh at myself.
But i am not going to regret at least ,right now.
i may doing things that worsen my life for now.

i know friends care.
i know they are worried about me.
thanks for concern.
i can only say don't worry about me.
i will be fine.


That day someone called me and asked me to give up.
The person said,"bu ke neng le,siew ai,bu ke neng le,fang qi ba"
during msn time the person ask is he worth for me?
i don't know,i don't know who worth it or don't
i know you have tried hard to comfort me .
thanks,i really appreciate.
because of your bu ke neng,
it keeps on reminding me.
Are you supporting him instead of supporting me?
i really don't know.
do you know when i heard those words, i feels my heart cracked.
immediately tears flows.
i always ask myself not to think,always ask myself to forget.
but, when you really wants to forget,you don't even have to do hard,isn't right?

Or maybe i should put things down for a moment.
i don't know how is tomorrow.
life is too short.
life's never can easy.
i know my life much better than others.
peoples always take things for granted,greedy,just like me now.

i hope he would understand how my feels are.
although he might not knowing it for now.
i know one day he will.


for all that i have done to you,
i wish i could make things right.


i need a restart button.
please help me get one of it.
seriously i found myself a fool
i only know how to keep being an idiot.
of course i do know how to differentiate what is good and what is bad for me
but i am still doing those things that making me feels stupid.
He said i am not stupid.
then what am i?
what and who am i doing all these
i never blame anyone.
SERIOUSLY NEVER.

look at me now and what can you can see from me
STUPIDITY?