1.2.3

blog after stpm bah.
promised to study.
terrible result.
datin genga saw our mood less face ..
and said it's just two figures number.
everyone have the potential
she smiled and ask what to sad.just work harder.
it was the first time i heard this from her.
actually she is lovely de lo

happy first year anniversary.
suppose to blog about this earlier.
lazy.
just a simple date with him.
went for fast and furious 5
he is someone who is not so romantic.
the first surprise that he gave me before this was his fried rice.
this is what suppose a girl do for her boyfriend right?
but i cooked sometimes he don't appreciate ..=)
i don't give a blame because he dislike the food.NOT MY COOKING SKILLS.lol
what to do.
i love him as always de lah...

feeling.

sitting next to them with the lights on.
thinking of my problems.
i wanted to solve my own way.
i always whisper to god.
hugging my pillow hardly
drop my tears on my pillow.
struggling inside deeply.
who knows?
you?she or he?
i always try  my best to share.
yeah,is always.
but the result shows that it's better for me to keep it.
i wonder how's others did it .
sometimes i feel so stupid to myself.


i just want to have a simple life.
i don't understand what's life for?
of course i want a happy life,
but how?
you want me to think positively.
i tried.
and what comes after the way?
pains that i couldn't bring it away.
i am really afraid that one day i will immune to it.
maybe some of you don't believes that i whisper to god before.
i am telling the truth,and how pathetic i am.
and i know there must be its own reason why god created me this way.
this is the reason why am i still here today.
peoples who don't know me and think that i am arrogant is because they don't know the real me yet.
i always wanted to give the real me to all of you.
nobody knows,how struggling i am.
no one likes to pretend.
those who pretend doesn't meant they are lier.
don't judge a book by it's cover  ...
i  always want him to understand me more,
but it's always not.
i don't give a blame on him.
i understand him,
sometimes i talk cruel infront of him.
i felt sorry.
girls,please tell me that you don't need your boyfriend to understand and comfort you ,
and i will do the same.
words can kill someone if he or she is important to you.
pretty true.
those words never fade away from my mind.
i listen and i accept it.
i can't do any better.
it really kill me but no one realize..
i can't force others to think at my side.
but to him,
i hope he could understand how depress i am.

sometimes, a smile could be the most painful thing in life

recent happening's in life,

it's all about

notes

exercises


test.


no doubt,
this is STPM student's life.
and i realize not much time left.
so much to carry on~
urgh.
i really need to brush up myself even though it's super hard!
chemistry teacher teaching way is like rocket- one day one chapter,
same goes to biology,within a week,you have to finish up all the essays.
can you imagine that with mountains of work and we have to prepare for test so on and so on.....
my chemistry and mathematics result was like terrible type.
mathematics exercises is a must for everyday.
it's really really tough year for us.


i don't want to compare with those who have tuitions.

i don't want to give thousands of reason to myself for being a stupid slow turtle.
i don't want to regret later.

maybe what they said is right,
don't study hard but study smart.
but,
i am not smart type.
the only way for me is to study hard.
*envy those who don't have to study so hard*



i must and
i know i can.

p/s

if you think you can,you can!

SATURDAY

recalls the memories lies between you and me.
those sweet warm moments we share together.


i smile this time,
i value myself for you.

sometimes.

do you ever behave like this when you are preparing for any examinations?

 

yes,we do!

grr...

everyone needs motivation.

i needs.

urghhh....

爱

真爱是否是真心相爱？
真心相爱是不是等于你的真爱？
单方面的爱是不是爱？
可以为一个人付出一切的叫真爱？
爱是不是一辈子的承诺？
爱是不是真的不在乎天长地久，只记得曾经拥有？
是不是经不起考验的就不叫真爱？
是不是两情相悦才叫真爱？
是不是三天小吵，五天大闹才叫真爱？
真爱是不是真的那么痛？
真心相爱是不是就会永远在一起？
真爱是什么？
真心相爱又是什么？
凄美爱情故事的背后是不是还隐藏了什么？
爱是什么？
游戏?
还是消遣？
爱可以走多远？
是一辈子的承诺？
还是暂时性的好玩？
爱的定义是什么？
爱的代价又是什么？

爱无所不在，
一旦碰上了它，你就会为它痴，为它着迷。
当你丢失了钥匙，你再怎么努力，门再也不会完整的打开。
裂痕依然还在，就算你在怎么补救，再也不会完美。
我试过了，也明白了这个道理。

我相信，
如果是真爱，
就算一秒，你也不会想松开手。
哪怕她只是随口说说。
她心里挣扎，因为女人都是口是心非的。
今天是星期日，我依然还在等待。
只是那扇门，因为你，她要把它关上了。
她不想再打开了。
因为她知道，等待也可以很痛。
她看开了一切。

爱没有分谁对谁错，
先说对不起的那个人，不是因为他的错，
而是他觉得没有什么事比这段感情来得重要。
他试着去袮仆，试着去挽回当初的那个温柔。


如果你看到了，请你要明白，
如果你坚持的决定是那样，她依然尊重你。
有个朋友问我，是不是大家都累了？
是不是应该给自己一点点的空间？
我觉得是累了，
解决的方法可以很多，只是我们还没想到。
我那个朋友说旁人看到都会觉得甜蜜。
是真的这样吗？
我又想起了大大的房间。
如果你只为别人着想，会不会对自己很不公平？
有人说，你只要活着，你这一世就是为别人而活。
我认同，我们都为别人而活。


要记得包容。
这一点很难，我依然还在努力。
只是在还没看见成果前，
就已经结束了。

crying inside

The way that I’m feeling is hard to describe
I feel lost and alone in this unbearable life

My emotions are twisted, my stomach in knots
I wish there was something to erase my thoughts

I feel so desperately clingy I feel so free of heart
If you could please just kiss me that would be a great place to start

I do not like the feeling of not knowing how you feel
I don’t like looking in your eyes and seeing all my fears

I really feel so empty searching for the light
Maybe if you could please turn it on tonight

My head is all clouded my eyes full of tears
I can’t hold on to this feeling for years

I hope that is passes, maybe merely a phase
I am ready to be out of this daze

I am going to try to fake my smile
Maybe that will last for a while

It you think you see a smile on my face
Look a little deeper you’ll see I’m out of place

Maybe someday soon the sun will shine
Even through the bad you are always mine.

RANDOM huh..

it's the time for me to introduce my new family member.

PIPI

a fat she !
wow,actually i can't think of any nicer name.
the older one named poppy and this is my pipi.

sometimes i just confused myself by calling up this two names.
cute!
is she?
i promised will love her forever.
was wondering do all puppies look the same?
whenever i look at pipi i think of poppy. o.O
and now my poppy is like old and weak?=(
he is no longer the playful puppy* poppy anymore.
i don't know why i prefer dogs so much than cats.
although both are four legs animals.


my man just care her*pipi more than me.
this is what she make me jealous sometimes.
i know i am a jealousy person.
do this proves how much he meant to me?




i found this..

seriously i miss her when i found this photo.
i miss her face.
miss her laughter.
miss her giant voice in our class.
miss her so much.
she talks everything to me in class.
her boyfriend always came to our class and sat at my place.
just want you to know,
i really miss you and
the most important part,i don't dare to hit lay wan who sit beside me for now.
*i know i am evil,always hit you till the max
khalphana,
i miss you~~~~~


don't be shock,
i knew her since i was in kong min (primary)
standard one i suppose?
super long i know...
she is a smart girl.
the most famous Indian girl among the Chinese.
straight A's in UPSR and also PMR.
proud of her,my forever friend.






THIS--->>>>

      




i miss this hair style =(
super long time ago.
i still remembered one part that i always play with his hair when he was driving.
i don't know why,
i just loves playing his hair when he is driving.


remember our promises?
don't break it.
we will make it till the end.
and i want you to know that,
you are important to me.
you know words can't describes everything.
understand what we have go through so far.
no one knows you better than me.
i love you.


alright,
don't feels *geli if you guys read this.
you know who you are lo.
well,this is what suppose to be when you attached to someone.
don't let me find out that you guys geli than me....evil laugh**
especially the LIGHT BULB who always mentioned by him.

i love them and i care for them.
sometimes they neglected me because i am too mama.
they are part of my life and sometimes when we comes to conflicts,
we hurts each other badly.
what are siblings for?
let me teach you,
when you get boring,
give them a kick and they know what to do next.
* i am bad.
but this is the way how i love them.
we born to be together.
we bathed together.*childhood time la
we laugh together.
we fights together.
even boxing together.
all these you can't get it at other places.
they are the one who i thinking of when i am not at home.
can't imagine how's my life after few more months.


they meant so much to me.
they know,i love them like mad!


superman,
i know within this few years you are having hard time.
you sweat alots,
sunburns each days,
i hate to see you sick.
i hate to see you suffer.
you give the best to us.
ask me not to worry about anything except my studies.
superman..
don't worry,
i will be the super girl .
we all love you.
our hero forever.

*eyes wet*

i have tried my best.

i breath a song into the air.

i find myself speechless.

i am all alone after this.

i am who i am today.

放弃，好吗？

你，要比我坚强。

以后，

不会再有人对你唠叨，

不会再有人捏你，

不会再有人对你大小声，

不会在你累的时候摸摸你的头，

不会在你伤心的时候安慰你，

不会在你需要我的时候陪着你。

以后，

不会再有人哄我，

不会再有人叫我不要赖床，

不会再有人关心我会不会肚子痛，

不会再有人为我做让我我感到贴心的事。

现在，

这一刻

我还你自由了。

你听见了吗？